I just got back from a nice cantata at Faith Baptist Bible College put on by Canticum Novum Chorale (check them out at www.canticumnovum.org). I miss when churches used to do little dramas and programs on a regular basis. Not huge productions with twenty piece orchestras and 50 people choirs that required months of preparation. Just little things. Who cared if the kids flubbed their lines or wore old bathrobes. Simple hymns sung a little off-key with Biblical truth in every line. I admit it. I’m a small church girl. I’ve seen too many showcases for great talents that ignore lesser-known but equal talents in big churches. Which isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy the cantata. I did. Even sitting on hard chairs for an hour and a half.
I also realized tonight that as I am regaining the vocabulary and reasoning that I had lost, I am not regaining the Biblical acumen I once had. The reason is, I have no one with whom to exercise these weakened muscles. I can chat online with people and discuss all manner of things about books and words and news stories, but there is nowhere I can go to discuss biblical things without coming out in the worse end of an argument I can’t win simply because I can’t remember why I believe what I do. I have no way to get to a church. When I tried to set up a Bible study with a woman from the local church, she kept “losing” my number and never gave me hers. My aide does come on Sunday evenings, but our time is limited. The church that has substance has no enthusiasm and no interaction. The church that has interaction and discussion has little depth and no one willing to come to me, which is what I need, because I can’t go to them.
I need to start all over again with simple memorization like the Awana Cubbies because my memory is shot. I wish there were a way I could interact with a class at the college, like an online skype or something. I need to discuss, to feel my way through a concept, to work it out. I feel like a kid lost in a forest. All the trees look familiar, but I can’t find my way home. And I have no idea where to look for help. sigh.
In other news, I got a text from Father asking if I knew what the deal was with the Hugos because an author he liked turned down his nomination. Obviously, Father doesn’t know about my blog, or if he does, doesn’t think to follow it. He saw on my Facebook page that I had reposted an article about Sad Puppies and wanted me to text him an explanation. Explain Sad Puppies in a text? My flip phone doesn’t have that kind of capacity and neither do I. I called him back and gave him the rundown. Of course, we had to cut it short, because he texted me ten minutes before he had to leave for church. Oh well, now he knows. And he knows that I knew.
Also, Brother #1 called and left a voice mail (I had the phone turned off for the cantata) that he is willing to pay for me to join World of Warcraft to play with his kids, so that they can kind of get to know me. I have no idea what brought this on, but I’m up for it. I liked WoW when I could afford it. Harmless role-play and adventure combined with my niece and nephews getting to know who I am and remembering my name. Win-win. I called him back and had to leave a voice mail, too.
All in all a good day.
Happy Easter, everyone!